4/10/2011

What: The Oatmeal, I love you! (Homework says: The Oatmeal I hate you!)

Where: www.theoatmeal.com, a website filled with hilarious quizes and comics. My personal favorites? 'Ten words you need to stop misspelling', 'Minor differences part 1,2,3 and 4', Cat VS Internet', 'What it's like to own an Apple product', 'Time spent using Tupperware' and wow, many many others actually.

Why: I guarantee you, you're going to smile. Even if it's not your kind of humor (*cricketsound*), you will at least grin a little. If this ís your cup of tea, be prepared: sometimes they make me laugh so hard, I almost choke (and that’s very sexaayy).

Dear person reading this

Wow, I just found out about another website that I really enjoy reading. It’s called Dear Blank Please Blank and it’s filled with hilarious, frustrated, thoughtful, evil and sweet  ‘letters’ from one person (or group, object, animal etc.) to another. I don’t know what it is, but I just really (really!) love these kinds of websites. And if you’re tired of reading about other people’s stuff or just feel like putting your own thoughts out in the open, you can easily submit your own letter.

Sorry, just a quick post. There are still so much more Dear Blank’s to read!

  

(Seriously, I'm crying because I'm laughing so hard!)

Why did you buy me that?

While making long days behind my desk, studying for my exams and writing papers, there’s always this certain moment (mostly in the afternoon) when suddenly all my motivation is gone. Out of nowhere, just totally gone. It turns out I’m not the only one, according to the Cup-a-soup and the Aquarius commercials, but still. 

            I found out, that when that moment arrives, I just need to take a small break, relax a little bit and mainly: have a good laugh. After doing so, I’m back on track and the motivation roars trough my body again (well.. sort of..). Anyway, the thing that kept me up and running past two weeks, was this hilarious website I was told about, called: Why Did You Buy Me That? A compilation of the worst gifts ever received, illustrated with hilariously dry comments. Don’t worry, it’s not a site filled with spoiled, dissatisfied people. Actually their motto is: “It’s not that I’m ungrateful. It’s just that this gift was really, really bad!” Please take a look at it yourself, I bet it will brighten up your day too!

“The worst part? It smelled.” – “A birthday gift from one of my best friends… a purse in the shape of a chicken?!!” – “A stapler shaped like an EAGLE’S BEAK. What in the name of holy hell is a grown ass man supposed to do with this? I’m going to throw it off the roof and see if it flies!” -  “For the record, I’m 100% sure neither my husband nor I ever mentioned any love of dolphins…or pink shells…or toothpick holders…”’ – “Uh…it was the thought that counted, I guess” – “Wow, um… thanks… thanks for this… um WTF IS THIS THING?” – “Grandma always gives the best gifts…..Who doesn’t want a bright yellow sweatshirt with grizzly bears on it?!?”

Why Did You Buy Me That is just one of the websites hosted by The Pop Hangover Network, their others sites are quite entertaining as well. A few of my favorites:

Damn you, Autocorrect
I guess everybody with an Iphone, or any other (smart)phone, found out the hard way how annoying and embarrassing the Auto Correct feature can be. On this website, you can find all the painful and hilarious moments when someone's words got autocorrected and changed into something really weird or inappropriate.

A bit of the same genre but really funny as well is Wrong Number Texts (same painful situations ha-ha!)

Really Ghetto… Where “cheap” is an understatement
This is totally my kind of fun, I mean just read what they have to tell about it:
“GHETTO isn’t about a race, gender, or income level. Anyone can be ghetto. It’s a mindset. It’s walking around in public in hair rollers and slippers. It’s heating your kitchen using flames from your gas stove. It’s selling hubcaps in the middle of a convenience store, putting Fruit Loops in your car’s heat vents and calling it an “air freshener”, or defrosting your lunch on the hood of your car because your microwave broke. Yes, people do this stuff - and more”
Need I say more? You will totally laugh your ass off!

And last but not least: The worst thing I ever ate: stories and photos about your most horrifying culinary experiences.
Again a really recognizable one, I think everyone once had something to eat which was seriously disgusting or super weird. Airplane food? Takeaways? Nasty old candy?. They ask you to take a photo of it, to make us laugh!
“It was supposed to be ‘blueberry oatmeal’… it tasted like “blueberry vomit!”

Alright, my break is over, back to work again!

Cupcake bastards

If you know me by person or perhaps just by this blog, my love for cupcakes shouldn't be a surprise for you. Not only do I really love to eat cupcakes, I also love to make, look at, take pictures, fantasize and talk about these delicious treats. Too bad they aren't really healthy (well okay, not at all), so sometimes I have to look for other solutions to fulfill my needs.
      Let's start by saying what I really don't like, or even hate: these fake cupcakes you can buy to put on a plate or an étagère to make your house look nice. I get it, cupcakes and other treats do look very cozy and homely, but I'm always so disappointed whenever I realize I’m trying to eat one of those stony cupcake bastards.
But there's a great solution! The Beauty Bakery.This online store is filled with soap, looking (and seriously smelling) like jummy cupcakes, muffins and pies. I must admit, it was a little hard to resist a tiny bite out of my verry berry cupcake soap the first time I used it underneath the shower ;)

               They also sell super bath bombs and skin creamers. I'm a fan, but be careful, they are really addictive since they're so cute and nicely smelling! (hmm, talking about nicely smelling, ever tried the Banana Shampoo from The Body Shop? Next to the sentimental value it has for me, it's just awesome to use a yellow colored shampoo smelling just like banana!)
               There's also another webshop where they combine two of my favorite things: cupcakes and couture. Bella Cupcake Couture "Where cupcakes meet fashion".The owner of this shop designed these real nice cupcake wrappers, for birthdays, weddings, baby showers or any other occasion you like (is 'It's wednesday' a good occasion? Yes? Then I'm gonna get 'em).
I especially love the small wrappers, which you can use to make tiny cupcakes. Okay I know, its a bit a pointless purchase since you can only use them once. But you know what; sometimes these purchases are the best.

Let's list 'em!

I love lists. It started when I was younger, when we used to make lists of our top 5 best friends (“hey, you’re second on my lists, why am I third on yours?!”), each others worst habits (“you always steal the last cookie and you always want all the pretty furniture in your dollhouse”) or stuff we could do (“nahh.. we already made a movie/baked cookies/play dress up etc. yesterday!)”
            Growing older, my lists became much more serious. I mean, ‘what to bring from the grocery store’ or ‘make a list of the strangest baby names’. Just saying.
 I use a shopping list when I want to be sure I won’t forget anything (something that happens to me a lot: going to the store to get a specific item and bring back a bag filled with groceries, but just not the one I truly needed). And there is also the ‘goals I want to reach before I’m 30’-list and of course the never ending ‘to do’-list, but I also love lists like ‘movies I still have to see’, ‘book I want to read’, ‘restaurants I want to have dinner’ etc. They just clear my head and just writing about it already makes me feel a bit closer to reaching my goals.
            While my ‘to do’-list is (supposed to be) shrinking, the others lists are still growing every day. And that’s because others are creating lists as well! I mean, I really appreciate The World Heritage List, but it also made me want to visit all 911(!) properties on that list! Starting with say, the Sun Temple in India, The Central Amazon Conservation Complex in Brazil, Tsodilo in Botswana, The Golden Temple of Dambulla in Sri Lanka and the Historic Sanctuary of Machu Picu in Peru.
And how about the S. Pellegrino World’s 50 Best Restaurants Awards? The Ten Ancient Greek Writers You Should Know? Or the Top Ten Movies Everyone Should See ? Or Oprah’s Top-10-Closet-Must-Haves? The 1000 Novels Everyone Must Read by The Guardian? And the Top 240 Spas in North America, Hawaii, Central America and the Caribbean! Or The 20 Things Everyone Should Do In Italy!? Aahhh!
            Reason for writing this article is this hilarious book I’ve found called Listography, your life in lists. You can create your own lists, but also fill in the one they made for you like ‘list bad things you did as a kid’ or ‘list who reminds you of certain animals’. Their page filling cartoons are hilarious too.
            I’m curious. Who loves to make lists (and read others) as much as I do?

15. Making a blog post about my love for making lists

Oh everytime I close my eyes

I know we all have a similar dream
Go in your pocket pull out your wallet
And put it in the air and sing...

Well, we all know the lyrics of Travie McCoy’s Billionaire, right? Unfortunately I’m not (yet!) a billionaire, but I do sometimes dream of 50 pairs of Louboutins, summer vacations to the Malediven and Seychelles, a couple of different colored Hèrmes Birkins matching with every outfit, a black Maserati GranTurismo S (oh and probably a Fiat 500 Abarth just for fun) and a platinum, diamond Chopard watch. (Sigh…)

            But, until that time arrives, designer outlets are the solution for all the girls (and boys) with small wallets and big dreams. Here are some of my favorite places to go outlet shopping, online and in real life.

Let start with my number one favorite, the Designer outlet at Roermond.
Okay, you do have to like this ‘we tried to make it cozy like a small village’-style, but for me it works. In Roermond you find some great brands, like Gucci, Prada, 7 For All Mankind, Calvin Klein underwear and Ralph Lauren. And not just the failures of the collection (something you see very often in these bad ‘designer’ outlets, like for instance the Rosada factory outlet in Roosendaal), but some real nice pieces. Take for instance the Gucci store. Next to the items of their regular collection (sold for a pretty good price), they also have a few items of the exclusive collection. Picture this: a small sea green bag made of snake and crocodile leather, combined with a bamboo top handle. (Too bad it still costs about 1500 Euros.. *cricket sound*).Their winter coat collection is awesome and they sell some pretty neat stuff for men as well. There’s also a great Le Creuset shop (you know, the expensive cookwear) and even though it’s not really a luxurious shop, I also enjoy their Body Shop outlet a lot.

Next on my list is the website www.designer-vintage.com. 
Well, that name leaves little to the imagination, doesn’t it? At Designer Vintage you can buy vintage designer shoes, bags, accessories and clothing. Okay most of stuff sold there is still a bit pricy (a lambskin leather flap bag from Chanel: 1350 Euros, a Hermès Birkin: 7500 Euros), but you can be lucky and find some very special items for an amazing price. Plus, they have this rigid zero-tolerance counterfeit policy, so you can be sure that all the stuff you buy is absolutely authentic (they even work with Louis Vuitton, Mulberry, Gucci etc., who provide DV with specific counterfeit information and help them judge the items that are being sold online).

And there’s another vintage webshop (a combination of real, ‘grandma’ vintage and designer stuff), I also check almost every day, called www.hippas.nl. Their offer isn’t always that great, but (with capital B) over the past couple of months I’ve seen some really nice items passing by (for instance this creamy white leather Gucci bag for only 60 Euros! And I was too late, aaargh!). Though, different than at Designer Vintage, you really have to search for the pretty stuff, but that’s a nice thing to do right?

Back to real shopping again? Well, visit Maasmechelen Village at Maastricht.  They’re a member of the Chich Outlet Shopping, which is a collection of nine luxury outlet shopping villages around Europe (Londen, Madrid, Paris etc.). The last time I was there, I needed a dress for my high school prom. You’ll probably understand my excitement trying on all these fabulous (though sometimes a bit trashy) dresses at Escade, Versace and Ralph Lauren Purple Label. Sadly enough there wasn’t a dress that met my needs and the only one that did (a beautiful long black dress with a deep back at RL) was way above my budget.  Though Maasmechelen is also a really cozy place to go shopping, for clothing (Liu Jo, Essentiel, Karen Millen and bags and accessories (Furla, The Society Shop)!

All photos from Tumblr

Last one on my list is another webshop called The Outnet. Other than Hippas and Designer Vintage, the items being sold here aren’t vintage. They’re just design, but with a big discount. They sell amazing brands like Alexander McQueen, Chloé, Givenchy, Hervé Léger, Miu Miu and Valentino. You can easily search through their collection by picking your size or a brand or a color. They also have this funny ‘Dress me’-button where you can choose for which occasion you need some new clothes (tea at the Ritz, black tie or the great outdoors for instance), and you get a whole list of potential clothing. And there are also these flash sales (“don't blink, don't move and definitely don't hesitate as the clock is ticking”) where you can get fabulous items for fabulous prices. And there’s more! They also always have a giveaway you can enter freely (their Marni bag giveaway closes in about a few hours, still some time left for you to join!) where they give away brand new items.

Got a little bit greedy after checking out these sites? I understand! But you know what, I’m sitting in my comfy warm house, drinking chocolate and listening to a beautiful classical piano piece. And I’m happy. I could even call this state of mine serene. And I think:  I’m perfectly fine with all the stuff I already own right now. I don’t need all those designer bags, bracelets and shoes.

(Well, at least not for today ha-ha)

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How to ...

Videojug, I’m a big fan. I think this website (and Iphone app) with its huge database of ‘how to…’ movies is awesome. I’ve already watched so many of them. Like for instance how to win any argument, how to do the world’s best banana trick, how to insert contact lenses and how to stop laughing at inappropriate times. Needless to say, I learned a lot watching these movies. There are all these channels with different subcategories. Some people make a video just for one time, but there are also these experts at work who upload new how to’s on a very regular basis.
            There’s for instance Chef Jessica, who has all these great Asian recipes and gets filmed while preparing them. Wanted to try her sweet and sour pork ever since I saw her making it. The Fashion Police, with their Beauty 911, told me how to wear my leggings in a flattering way. And there’s the Making Millions channel, which gives you all sorts of great advice like ‘How To Think Like A Millionaire’, and ‘How To Prioritize Your Goals When Visualizing Wealth.’ That might come in handy one day! Oh and I absolutely like the Clothing Stains channel. Did you know that you need dishwashing liquid , ammonia, white vinegar, hydrogen peroxide and hot boiling water to remove chocolate stains from your clothes? Too bad I do. If I can’t reach my grandmother for advice,I check the Clothing Stains channel when I spilled a glass of red wine over my carpet. Oh don’t forget Jacqueline Hanson from Amy Cleaners, she always knows how to make your grouting look as good as new (ha-ha!). And do you have some time left for a little exercise? Why don’t go for the ‘How to belly dance?’ It looks pretty easy on the video I must say. 
            No kidding, I think it's great how there's this collective intelligence at work. Yes, you may laugh at me for using that word, talking about people with their home made videos. But I think collective intelligence isn't all about using shared intelligence in business and computer science and stuff, but also in situations on a more regular basis. It’s so good that people who actually know a lot about something (first impressions, phone batteries, giving birth, caring for goats, photographing a nude man etcetera) share their knowledge on a voluntary basis. Hmm, since I use their videos so much, perhaps I should start my own channel in return. Any ‘how to’-suggestions?

Ps. For all the love birds out there, what about this How to say in it Chinese!

Phonetically ‘I love You’ sounds a bit like “Whoah Y Nieh” and ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ like “Chieng Yen Djeh Quwhy Luh”. Always good to know, right?

On the sweet side of life

Tartelette

All pictures fromTartelette

I’m pretty sure everybody knows by now how I love food. But not only to eat it, I also love to make it, photograph it, talk and read about it, etcetera. Almost éverything that has to do with food (well, except for the ‘bad’ side of it, calories, love handles, you know...). One of my favorite blogs is My Tartelette from Helene Dujardin. Helen worked as a Pastry Chef and a as photographer, such a perfect combination. Not only her recipes are exceptionally good, she also makes such amazing photos of her food and the ingredients she uses. And everybody who ever tried to take a picture of food knows, that isn’t the easiest thing to do (iewh, restaurants with photos of the food they serve on the menu cards, always a bad thing).
            Try to visit this website and not start mouthwatering. I bet you’ll fail


www.tarteletteblog.com